Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Eye Cleaner

Here's a nice mental picture for you from Chichi:
No word of a lie, while I was on a Winnipeg transit bus today, I witnessed a man not just once, but twice clean out his eyes with his finger tips and then LICK ALL OF HIS FINGER TIPS!! So disgusting!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Negative Energy

Here's another odd bus story from Weirdos of Winnipeg:
An older man and a younger woman are sitting side-by-side on the bus. He's happily reading his Uptown magazine. They sit silently for several blocks. Then, out of nowhere:

She: You need to get your negative energy away from me.

He: Huh?

She: I saw the way you were looking at me at the bus stop. What right do you have to then come and sit beside me?

He: *confused*

She: And now you're giving me the same look. Your negative energy is ruining my day. You need to find a different place to sit.

He: [looks around. There is clearly no other place to sit] I'm ... just reading my paper.

She: And now you're looking at me like I'm crazy! Take your negative energy away from me. [rants for quite awhile about his negative energy]

He: Oh, just shut up already!

She: What right do you have to tell a stranger to shut up? You need to find a different place to sit. Next time there's a seat you need to find a different place to sit.

He: [reaches past her and dings the bell. Angrily.]

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Mr. Car takes the Bus

A funny observation from Angela:
One day i was on the bus and this guy jumped on the bus wearing a license plate around his neck. Then he sat at the front of the bus and he started to make driving noises. After that he started saying all the names of the streets and it was hilarious.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Winnipeg Transit = Murder Weapon Disposal?

Here's a weird story from Kathy:
This happened about 11 years ago. We were taking the number 11 bus down Portage Avenue when we the bus driver pulled the bus over to the side of the road. Noticing this wasn't a bus stop we were kind of wondering what was happening.

The bus doors opened up and two police officers came on board. They had pulled the bus over. On the bus there was myself, my boyfriend, two old women, one old man and two teenaged guys in the back. We were sitting up front and saw the police talk to the bus driver, looking to the rear of the bus.

The police started walking down the aisle sizing everyone up. They passed everyone on the bus and headed straight for the guys in the back of the bus.

Then we hear the police loudly ask the guys "Which one of you guys threw this ice pick out the window?" and proceeded to let the guys know "We know who you are, and what you are up to, don't think we won't remember you throwing this out the window."

The guys denied it and said it could of been anybody one the bus! The cops looked to the rest of us and knowing that was unlikely turned back to the guys and gave them a warning and went on their way. Well that left me on the bus, late at night wondering who these people are that random police officers know who they are, why were they carrying an ice pick, and why did they have to dispose of it so quickly by throwing it out a window. Regardless, I got off at the next stop. That was crazy!

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Orange Peel Orgy

Here's a story from Jenn that may just very well either turn you off eating oranges forever, or forever scar your mind into associating this story with the smell of oranges. You have been warned!
My friend and I had gone to a party one night, and we had left fairly early and caught one of the last buses home. The 47 only had a few passengers on it but my friend and I had sat down near the back of the bus in front of the sideways facing seats. About 10 minutes in the ride, I noticed the smell of oranges, thinking not a big deal some one is eating an orange. So I start looking around to see who it is when I noticed that there is a guy sitting in the seat opposite of my friend and I, on the pathway seat (no one else sitting next to him) and his penis is hanging out, full on out of his pants, zipper down and everything, and to top it all off, he was using an orange peel to rub it. I quickly nudged my friend (who had chosen the window seat) and said look at this guy, so she does and we're like what the eff? Luckily, our stop was only a few away and we got up and went out the front door, but not bef! ore informing the bus driver that there was a guy in the back with indecent exposure.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

AC/DC idiots singing on the bus

At first I was thinking, "god, what jerks!", that old guy looks really annoyed. But it's a chartered bus! I guess the old guy was an AC/DC fan after all.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Thrown off the Bus!

Here's a pretty crazy story from Sherri:
Years ago I was on the 18 bus in the middle of winter. This native guy on the crowded bus starting making racial comments and threats to another passenger who was black. This went on for a while. All of a sudden the bus stops and a man got up and held the door gate open. Then 4 other men got up and they grabbed the native guy's arms and legs; they then threw him out the back door into the snow. I still remember the look on the guy's face when he found himself standing in the snow.

Not a word was said amongst the other passengers.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Kramer vs. The Turtle

I will be reposting old stories from the no-longer-updated website, Weirdos of Winnipeg. He had some great bus stories on there. Here's one of my favorites:
Two old men got on separately on the #62.

The first old man, who looked like a 76-year-old Kramer from Seinfeld was chatty with everyone. The second old man, who resembled a turtle, sat next to him.

Nearing University Crescent, the turtle senior put his arm up to ring the ding and Kramer senior turned towards him and said: "You better put your (insert swear words here) hand down. I'm serious. I'll cut you up." Everyone was taken aback...turtle senior got off. Kramer got off a few stops later in Fort Richmond and started dancing (as though running through a field of daisies) towards a Robins Donuts.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Dirty Dan the Businessman

Here's another weird story from Chris:
I remember one day a regular looking guy got on the bus. Looks like a typical office worker. He sits down on an isle seat, and pulls out his reading material from his brief case.

It's a very 'dirty' magazine. Pretty bad stuff. He starts reading it, while holding it at eye level, meaning all around can see it. Many others on the bus expressed their distaste, including the poor lady sitting beside him. He looked around, shrugged and went back to reading.
Apparently, this is such a problem in Japan that they have an ad campaign to educate people that this is not proper etiquette while on public transit!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Pennies Everywhere!

Here's another story from Chris about a regular on the 47:
A regular looking guy got on the bus, and opened his very full and large coin purse to pay the fare.

The bus suddenly accelerated, and he lost his footing. He fell to the floor, dropping his open change purse. His money flew all over the place. He spent the next 30 minutes crawling around on his hands and knees looking for every last penny. He was reaching under people's legs, crawling under the seats.. and nobody said anything.

Image via @ Hidden Images

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Listen to this...

Here's a quite bizarro observation from Chris:
When you take the same bus every day, you start to recognize the regulars.

Years ago when I was taking the 47 every day, one of the more memorable regulars was a creepy looking middle aged guy. He always had his headphones on, black greased back hair, ripped jacket, tight jeans. And always looking straight forward with a slight serial killer like grin on his face. Like he'd move his head but not his eyes.

I noticed him always looking at this quite attractive woman (another regular) whenever he got on the bus. Quite a few other people would steal glances in her direction, but the look on his face was quite strange.

One day he sat on the seat behind her and was staring intently at the back of her head for most of the trip. Suddenly, he takes off his headphones, and goes to place them on her head, while speaking in an incredibly creepy and psychotic voice - "listen to this.."

She freaked out and ran off the bus. He looked offended and put his headphones back on.
Image by @ Street Photographs

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Happy Busdriver

Here's a nice pleasant story from Michelle:
I was on the 47 a couple years ago, heading to RRC, when I encountered the happiest bus driver I've ever had.

This was a couple years before the bus drivers had to announce their stops, but this guy was all over that microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now entering beautiful downtown Winnipeg."

He even did a door prize draw. "I hope you all held on to your transfers," he said as he dug into the bag of expired bus transfers. "And the winner is nuuuumber..... seven!" which was the day printed on all the transfers.

I pretended to be really excited about winning the door prize and he explained it was just a gag.

Never saw that guy again.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Overreacting Bus Driver!

Here's an unfortunate story from Chris about a nasty busdriver. It was in the dead of winter, maybe he was possessed by the Wendigo?:

About 10 years ago when I was a U of W student, I was waiting for the 47 at the old bus depot on Balmoral. It was an incredibly cold and windy day in January, at least -40 with the windchill.

The bus finally shows up, and I get on before the bus driver goes into the bus depot for a coffee. He told me he'd be back in 20 minutes and then we'd leave.

I was fine with the wait as I was just glad to be warm.

After a few minutes of warming up, a fellow student comes to the stop. For some reason she wasn't wearing anything on her head and had a light jacket on. She got my attention and signaled for me to let her on the bus. I went to the back door and let her in. She thanks me, and goes to sit up at the front, waiting to pay right away when the driver returns.

The grumpy driver gets on the bus, and she immediately pays and told him that I let her on. He completely lost it, and started screaming at us, about how we should never do such a thing. He said we broke the law, and that he was going to call the police. I tried to explain the situation, but he wouldn't stop yelling. He kicked us off the bus, and we went inside the university to wait for the next one. Overreaction maybe?

Monday, July 4, 2011

Great Pizza at a Great Price!

Here's a story from Brodie that could easily be a viral marketing campaign for Pizza Hotline, please make this ad "bunch of 2s"!
So anyone who rides the bus has seen the ads that are inside. One of the ads is for Pizza Hotline. Last week on the #18 a rather inebriated young man took a sheen to the Pizza Hotline ad, stood on his chair and proceeded to caress the pizza in the ad and than started singing the jingle (222 22 22 GREAT PIZZA AT A GREAT PRICE). He then started licking the ad and the bus driver kicked him in the Village where he wandered away into the night.
That reminds me of when I caught the downtown flyer to go to the forks last summer, and the bus was a special Hepatitis bus or something that was painted yellow, with only those "pee in a cup" ads up and down the aisle. The funny thing was, the whole bus also stunk like urine.